Starts tonight, on ITV:

BOYLE IN THE BAG

NEW SERIES: Susan Boyle works in "The Bag" restaurant as a cook who specialises in boil in the bag cuisine. Unfortunately the oily working conditions in the kitchen have caused her boil to act up and swell to 3 times its usual size - to protect it, and the food, Susan has encased it within a small bag on her face.

EPISODE ONE: "BOYLE'S BOIL, BOILED IN THE BAG, IN THE BOYLE, IN THE BAG, IN THE BAG, IN THE BAG" During a special event hosted to celebrate Danny Boyle's new film, "In The Bag" Susan Boyle's Boil falls off her face and in to her cooking. Danny Boyle chokes to death on the boil and has to be put in to a body bag which then, by accident, is boiled and eaten by an unpleasant woman who the staff in the srestaurant know only as The Bag.