The internet is currently ablaze with rumours, speculation and conjecture surrounding the "Apple Tablet". A blaze that has only been marginally hampered by the tears of joy and enthusiastic ejaculate of those devouring the news and guesswork. But the truth is that no one really knows what the end product's going to be. Until now.

According to every source we have inside Apple, the "Apple Tablet", set for launch on April 1st (any clues there) will actually be just a vitamin tablet with apple flavouring. Have a look at a leaked photograph of the prototype if you like - it's a stunning turn of events, certainly, almost unbelievable. Steve Jobs himself has been blockquoted as saying:

"People are going to be surprised when they see it. It's not going to be what anyone expected."

Well that's true enough, but how will people react when they find out this has all just been a massive hoax? Not best pleased, we imagine, but this is just the first in a series of misleading Apple products which will also include the "Apple Turnover" which will be hyped throughout 2010 with the claim that it will "Achieve something no technology has ever done" only to be revealed to just be an apple turnover at some point early 2011. The achievement? Be edible.

None of this really makes any sense, to me. It all seems rather nonsensical. I hope they know what they're doing.